BIRKS and BIKES!

WHAT I WANT TO DO RIGHT NOW:

1.  Read Sylvia Plath's journals.

2.  See this pink dolphin for myself.

3.  Put on my birks, get back on my bike.

4.  Fall asleep in a bear sleeping bag (more photos on creator Eiko Ishizawa's website).

5.  Lie on my back and look at the sky through tree branches.

6.  Learn to play the ukulele.

7.  Write long letters (and send them!).

8.  Write like James Franco.  Or Randa Jarrar.  Or Sean Michaels.

9.  Apply bug spray, drink Rickard's Pale, listen to crickets, smoosh a golden-brown marshmallow in between two digestive cookies, call it a night, crawl into a tent.

10.  Make galaxies with a photocopier and sugar.

TEXT MESSAGES I WOULD EMBROIDER:

1.  That's why i dont carry a purse.

2.  Come home to me       please

3.  Do You Know How Much I Love You?

4.  You're hot. PS are you at players? Lets party after i am drunk and naked and in need of some Vla.

5.  Look, I'm texting you! La la la i am a cute little house hippo, I like eating dust yum yum yum.

6.  Vlada, by the light of moon i can only try to put words to paper how i love you so. I shall send you my loveletter tied to the modest leg of a songbird..

7.  I cant help it: i miss u

8.  if that joke was on the referendum i would vote no to it

9.  God doesnt like chili stains

10.  There is a dinosaur museum here!

image credit: YOUNG AND LOST CLUB record label

the f word (not feminism)

Dear Professor:
I'm submitting this references list, APA-style. I hope that by reading through all these works, you can come to a relatively accurate conclusion of what my essay would have been about, had i written it. I've left out works which i read but ultimately deemed irrelevant to my hypothetical thesis.
See you in class for the exam!


I dare you not to fall in love with this story about Mayo Thompson. And i dare you not to fall in love with Sean Michaels by extension.


photo credit: George Krause, whose work was in Designing for Human Behavior: Architecture and the Behavioral Sciences (1974) -- cool beans!

life dream #1 and a few other things

We (some friends) move to Europe for a year. Where? I don't know, maybe someplace in Spain, by the water. The sun sets. The sun rises. Mostly, though, the sun sets because we're asleep when the sun rises. In the morning, as the sun is rising and we sleep, the mesh curtain over the bedroom window (or door to a balcony!) billows because there is a breeze from the water and of course the window is always open because of the fresh sea air. Everything is labeled in Spanish. In the evening, after bongo drums and campfires, we walk back home along the shore, sandels in hand and hair in messy ponytails or unevenly flattened. Hair that we'll find is full of sand and fire ashes and clumsy singing when we finally take a shower the next morning. When we first move there, we're some kind of tripod; we are fluent in the same language and we giggle about things in ways that tripods do. That second week, our rooms still bare and luggage spitting out clothes, we go skinny-dipping at night. We scream about our rum-tinged liberation. But after a couple months (of writing in coffeeshops and painting with easels set up by the water and picking wildflowers for hair accessories), we start to become more independent of one another. We're not drifting apart, we just keep some things to ourselves. Everything changes just a little bit and then nothing is really the same. Not in a bad way, but in a quiet way. Because the writing is so organic and the art is sensual and the wildflowers turn into crowns. We're best friends but we're bodies, too. Sometimes we still walk back home along the shore together, but now we're more boisterous. 'We belong here, this is ours,' we think. So we throw a half-empty bottle into the sea to prove it. We stumble over our feet and lean on each other for balance. The sun rises and sets and rises and the curtain billows and the tub fills up with sand every shower. We never make our beds.


I recommend watching this video starring Emile Hirsch. It's perfectly pretty ('cause he's perfectly pretty?).

Currently,
1. I'd like to learn how to skateboard.
2. I want to figure out how to dress like this or like this. Preferably both. And also, peruse HEL LOOKS because it is amazing and inspiring when you get dressed every morning by peeling something off the carpet and checking to make sure it's not smelly.
3. I'm drinking at least one cup/travel mug of tea a day.  With honey.

My Redemption? Please?

Okay, so some people weren't pleased with my last post. And by 'some people' i mean my housemate Debra, of course. I stand by both videos, by the way. But i would like to redeem myself in her eyes because without her, i'd probably be left with three people reading this blog. Maybe two.

Nathan Fielder is very funny. There is evidence of this on his youtube channel. Also, he's friends with Levi MacDougall, who is the most funny, so you know Nathan is going to be great even before watching his stuff. Sometimes, Levi and Nathan combine their talents and create magic.

But their magic is not what i'm here to write about. I'm here to write about the following video of Nathan's that is so so so great (and hopefully very redeeming).


I award that video an internet crown. For being the best. The crown has 'best' spelled out in gems and valuable stones.

Acting like i haven't dreamed of you and i and marriage in an orange grove

1. McSweeney's Internet Tendency is sometimes very funny. I first discovered this a few years ago when i read the following by contributor, and "verbal cartoonist," Dan Liebert:

Fun Facts to Know and Tell.
Some so-called superstitions have a solid basis in fact. For instance, if you're leafing through a magazine at a newsstand and a subscription card falls out and touches the floor before you can catch it, you will die before nightfall, because I will follow you home and kill you, I swear I will.

Kind of, a lot, like a Jack Handey. For those that wish there were two Jack Handey's out there in the world.

Anyway, i rediscovered McSweeney's this past week, when i was randomly going through their "Lists" feature, a collection of really funny and unnecessary lists about anything, and i laughed and laughed alone in my cold, cold basement. There are so many lists, so start with these:
- Things My Father Has Said to Me in Crowded Restaurants
- What People Said Tornadoes Sounded Like Before the Invention of the Freight Train (in Reverse Chronological Order)
- Pickup Lines to Use While Moving
- Topics of Conversation at My Cousin's House on Any Given Holiday
- What My Father Said About Thanksgiving, What I Thought, and What He Meant
- Relationship Advice I Might Give, Considering How My Last One Ended
- Text Messages That Would Have Been Helpful

Oh, bahaha!

2. Do you have an interest in photography that does not really exceed oh-wow-four-photos-in-one and i-wish-my-photos-looked-like-dreams? This is the Lomography Diana Dreamer Camera:

To be perfectly frank with you, it makes me want to name my children Diana. Diana Dreamer is a remake of the vintage all-plastic Diana camera, she is beautiful, and doesn't she make you want to wander around a park and lie down on the grass and take photos of clouds that look like animals or food? The camera young Amélie is holding there is probably the Diana Dreamer in black. No, i'm just kidding. But seriously, my heart yearns for this camera the way only a heart unfamiliar with photography can yearn for a camera. Does that make any sense? Sold exclusively at Urban Outfitters (your photography one-stop shop, right?) and look! it has one review that gives it 5 stars out of 5, so you know it's good. If i were to submit a list to McSweeney's it would be

Adjectives Urban Outfitters Uses to Describe the Diana Dreamer Camera That Totally Appeal to Me
cult
dreamy
faithful
loving
classic
dreamy (yes, twice!)
endless
easy
off-the-wall

Also, check out Lomography Diana + Camera. It's also pretty cool but i can't write about cameras on this blog forever.

3. daytime fantasies

4. Do you like sunglasses? Sure you do! But do you like them as much as me? Yeah, why not! But do you like them enough to spend $108 US on one (vintage) pair? Why am i suddenly so materialistic? Oops, that was an aside. Anyway, these two pairs of sunglasses are really cool, but also super expensive. It's a good thing i don't put a lot of effort into being stylish -- i'd be poor. And we all know i'm leaving that economic position for after university.

5. I can't wait for this movie to be released in Canada so i can want to go see it, not go see it, wait for it on DVD, never find it at Blockbuster, and then buy it Previously Viewed for $4.99 six years later. But seriously, it looks so good.

6. There are a lot of things one could say about the following song. Could one, like me, say it better than Sean from Said the Gramophone? Probably not. All i will say is this: "you're the only thing in any room you're ever in"? Oh god. Can real life be better than that?

Elbow - Starlings [mp3]

oh man

watch this and almost die of awe:

Western Spaghetti by PES

also,

"All good things are wild, and free."

- Henry David Thoreau

art by Chrissie Abbott, who is super-cool you guys.

Something That Is Weird

Here is something that is weird: faxes. How are they sent? How are they received? How does this all happen? How can someone send and/or receive a fax nonchalantly without sitting down to wonder about this? I have done this myself but I don't remember how. I once worked as a receptionist and in between reading novels and looking at the internet (which is another very weird thing) I would send and receive faxes. And I did it nonchalantly, without wondering how. When I was a kid, I thought the way faxes were sent was like this: the paper would roll itself up very tightly and then fly through the fax machine's cord, right into the electrical outlet. And inside the electrical outlet were a bunch of other cords, linking to other electrical outlets which connected to other fax machines. And in this way, all fax machines were connected. But now I know it is not like this, although I wish it were because a) I wouldn't spend so much time wondering about faxes, and b) I would know that we were all connected and this would make me feel less lonely sometimes.


art credit: Shannon Rankin, whose art freezes up my limbs for a little bit -- you can find her on flickr and etsy.

HEY,

(Andreas Banderas)

holding the keys to the world

Check out:

-This cool United States and selected Canadian provinces map with state/province postcards that Urban Outfitters made. Pretty awesome. My faves are South Dakota, Virginia, and Maine. Okay, Georgia's pretty great too. I find U.O. so intimidating that it's better just to admire from afar (like, the internet far).

-The new album by Girl Talk called Feed The Animals. Do you like music? Cool, i think you might like this.

-These !!! animal silhouette bookshelf dividers. How cool are these? Separate your fiction from your non-fiction from your Archie comics from your LSAT prep books. And by "separate," i mean just think about it and dream about it because the website isn't even in English and these cost 1,575 of something that might be yen.

Oh, p.s.

And just in case you ever felt that your future was a mystery; or that you were tired and energized, hungry and full, disappointed with yourself and at the same time productive, all conflict and at the same moment in complete peace, a living breathing dichotomy; or that all the sounds, scents, and tastes connected to your memories had disappeared -- here.

Photo credit: Jean Jullien. Check out his reflet installation for some really great stuff.

Mondays > Sundays

This is one of the most spectacular things i've ever heard of. (via Said the Gramophone)

&&& on a somewhat unrelated note,
"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
- Mahatma Gandhi

Work was incredibly boring,

So i spent almost the entire 9 hours surfing the net.
I bring gifts:

If my wanderlust were as strong as it was earlier this year (or last summer!), looking at Michael Hughes' "Souvenirs" flickr set would most likely make me teary. But right now it just leaves me in awe. He uses little souvenirs (postcards, pencil cases, models, magnets, mugs, etc.) to displace actual buildings or scenery in all these amazing foreign places. Up above is this Eiffel Tower coloured model from which the lowest part fell off -- incredible. One more (and then you should go check out the album for yourself):

the Piazza in Sienna, Italy

Mr. Big - To Be With You [mp3]
Sounds like summer to me. Well, okay... summer of '92. But, more recently (this year!), Andrew Spencer made some "To Be With You" dance mixes that sound pretty awesome, the best of which you can listen to here. Incidentally, i miss Alfie's.


A really cool graffiti find in the UK: I am free.


Pretty productive day at work.

Friendship bracelets this summer

Some lovely lovely lovely things:

1. Sarah Illenberger

Uh, yeah. Amazing.

2. Stranger photos. Maybe i'll do it one day this summer.

3. Discovery Channel commercial:

4. Pierre the penguin gets a wet suit made for him. Pierre was balding and his lack of feathers made him cold and unable to swim with his penguin friends. He would just shiver on the sidelines.

The other penguins accepted him, in case you were wondering (people were concerned they wouldn't).

"There are no plans to make him a matching surf board."

Oh, ha!

Enjoy, friends :)

i can see the beautiful weather from the library windows

Everyone with a sense of humour should check out Elephantitis of the Mind, a webcomic by Asher Sarlin. His comics made studying for exams very hard yesterday. Unfortunately, he hasn't updated in forever (actually, for my academic future's sake that might be a blessing in disguise) but the archives go back all the way to 2004, so there's a lot to look at. Particularly great for anyone with exams coming up, urgent priorities, and/or deadlines. Here are a couple of my favourites (oh man, it's so hard to choose just a couple):
and this one, titled "now here is a story all about how..."

Melodrama is quite nice sometimes. Like someone saying, "think I wanna die if you don't stay" or "will you ever know what you do to me?" It's so pathetic and pleading and vulnerable and such an extreme that it's actually kind of endearing. Imagine someone saying that to you so casually like that's just the way it is and how can i say it more plainly. So you just have to accept it.
Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin - Think I Wanna Die [mp3]

Some things that i shouldn't keep all to myself:

David Horvitz has a bunch of things for sale that he will mail you. If you click on the link and read on (and you should), you'll get past what initially seems like egotism and find him endearing and creative and someone looking to escape. Also, he's an artist and all of this is art and that puts a smile on my face. Of course, i'm in no financial position to go donating to some of his cooler pursuits, but i certainly wish i were. My favourite:

If you give me $250 I will read the Little Prince in front of the New York Stock Exchange on Wall Street in the middle of a work day. I will send you photograph documentation of this. (or: if you give me $1000 I will buy as many copies of the Little Prince as I can and give them away to people leaving the New York Stock Exchange after a days work)

Andrea Dezsö's subversive embroidery for her "Lessons From My Mother" series is pretty amazing. Each embroidered sheet and canvas is a particular familial superstition, accompanied by an illustration. Some of them are weird, some ridiculous, some sad. Click on all 7 links on the left (after the word 'Embroidery') and check them all out. Unfortunately, some of my favourite ones are the least legible in the photos. But just so know, the one on page 6, bottom middle is my favourite. It says, "My mother claimed that a woman's legs are so strong that no man can separate them if she doesn't let him."

Bell is a band that consists of Moscow-born Olga Bell and some friends. The music is pretty and sweeping and starts with some whispering before bursting into a bunch of sound and light. "On our way, on our way, on our way to/build a tower so the tallest peak can reach you/it'll take us hours, hours, hours." I am specifically talking about "Chunk," which you should right-click & save-as here:
Bell - Chunk [mp3]

Also: a picture of George Dubya made entirely out of porn magazine cut-outs. Created by Jonathan Yeo.